Thirteen

“If you tell anyone, I’ll tell them it was all you.

You were the one making me do it.

I’ll tell them you did worse things to me.

And they’ll never believe you over me.”

She starts touching me.

She’s touching me in places no one else does.

It’s not the only time she’s done this.

First she uses her fingers.

Then she uses her tongue.

It feels funny.

“Now, you do it to me.”

I look at her like she’s crazy.

“Don’t you remember our little agreement?

DO IT.”

I don’t want to do it.

I don’t like when she does it to me.

It feels wrong.

But she’s my only friend.

What if she never plays with me again?

What if she really does tell everyone I was the one who started it?

I take a deep breath and reluctantly try imitating what she just did.

I guess I do an okay job because she stops reprimanding me.

Finally, she tells me I can stop.

I lie next to her but turn away.

I don’t want her to know how ashamed I feel.

I wonder if this is what other girls are doing in second grade.